The Subs Anecdote

I recently wrote this story up for a friend, who was there but somehow had forgotten. I enjoyed writing it, so I thought I'd post it here. For no obvious reason. So here it is:

What to say about the legend that was the Sub Club and is no more? Well, when I knew it, it was in a block of buildings that had somehow survived the demolition of virtually that whole area of Rotherham, and stuck up out of a sea of brick rubble like some sort of soot-blackened ghost ship. I think it housed a bike shop as well, but the Sub Club, as the name suggests, was in the basement and accessed down a flight of stairs outside.

Anyway, on the day of the UK Subs gig, we had both (entirely coincidentally) been to some sort of family ‘do’ before hand – the sort of ‘do’ that requires you to look vaguely smart and be nice to a selection of dimly recognised relatives. Consequently we both turned up for the gig wearing smart shirts and cardigans, which were briefly acceptable around the heyday of The Smiths (that’s what I tell people when they see photos of me from that era, anyway).

The rest of the crowd, as you can probably imagine, was dressed somewhat at variance to ourselves, tending as they did towards leather, tartan, studs and sweat. Still, we were undaunted and set about a few pints. As a warm-up to the Subs coming on, they were playing a medley of punk classics over the PA, and when ‘Submission’ came on we both – obviously feeling a bit more comfortable by now and presumably being fond of this track (it is one of the Pistols’ better efforts) – as one man nodded at each other, got up and headed for the dancefloor.

Said dancefloor was pretty much lost to view in a dense crowd of black leather, but we pushed our way through and, with a last mighty heave, spilled forth onto the floor.

It was then that we realised that nobody else was dancing. I’ll repeat that, because it bears repeating - NOBODY ELSE WAS DANCING. The crowd stopped at the edge of the dancefloor like some sort of Star Trek force field was in operation, and my friend and I, in our smart shirts and cardies, looked around at a blank and frankly slightly hostile wall of 6-foot Mohawks.

I can still remember how my heart sank.

Anyway, it is to our eternal credit that we looked at each other, shrugged and started slam-dancing. The Mohawks, presumably deciding that we were either mad and therefore probably harmless, or very, very much harder than we looked (and this latter option is unlikely, I know) elected to leave us alone. In fact, I think a few warmed after a while and joined us on the floor. But I may be making that up to make myself feel better.

And there you have it – what has become known as ‘The Subs Anecdote’, a tale of misguided sartorial endeavour from a lost, but not forgotten, age.

Rising tide of creativity

After one of those periodic lulls when nothing much seems to be happening, various projects are beginning to build up a head of steam again.



The Personal Demons Project - which I am increasingly inclined to think is the best thing I've ever been involved with - is moving again. The script for the musical is nearly finished, and Jack Todhunter has done a truly fantastic job of adapting it for a school hall setting (ie. getting rid of all my over-the-top flights of fancy) whilst still retaining the spirit of the thing. We're hoping to do a first read-through around Christmas, which should be a hoot.



Still no sign of a publisher for the novel though. It will be a crime if nobody takes this one on. And not just because I wrote it - because it's good, and a lot of people have put a lot into the project.



The sequel to Gooey, Chewy, Rumble, Plop is gathering pace - rather too much pace, to be honest. I'm about 2 spreads behind on the text at the moment. The first one was so popular that the sequel has been brought forward by a year, so it's all a bit frantic this time around.

And I'm hoping, if I can get on top of some of my other commitments, to get back to writing for pleasure. I have an old project on the back burner that just won't go away. I need to dust it down and put some more work into it.

Hot cakes

Well, The Gooey, Chewy, Rumble, Plop Book seems to be selling very well - apparently it has sold out its first print run in the UK and is likely to do the same in several other countries.

So get a copy quickly, while you still can!

Work is progressing well on the sequel, which I think is going to be just as good...

'All good bookshops...'

First of all, the big news is that The Gooey, Chewy, Rumble, Plop Book is now out, and seems to be doing well. I have not yet got over the thrill of being able to walk into any High Street bookshop and see it on the shelves. Without having to order it first! And the early reviews seem to be glowing, to say the least. Check this one out, for a start. Work is well under way on the second book in the series, but its going to be tough to top the first one – congrats to the rest of the creative team, Sally, Nick and Keith, who did such a good job.

Secondly, I mentioned an exciting non-writing project in my previous post. Well, it’s taken longer than planned to get it off the ground, and it still isn’t complete, but my wife and I now have a photography website – Kattegat Gallery – up and running. I’ll do some more active publicity once all the pages are complete. We've had a lot of success selling cards and prints from our photos locally, so we thought we would branch out and see if there's a wider market. Fingers crossed...

RIP The Malifex

Well, if you are one of the fortunate few to have a UK paperback copy of The Malifex, hang on to it! The publishers, Floris, have decided in their infinite wisdom to pulp all remaining stocks. Due to a 'communications hiccup' (I'm being generous here) I didn't even get chance to buy up what was left. So, if you have it, it may just be worth a fortune one day. Or not.

Of course, the lovely US hardback is still available from all good bookshops (or Amazon, at least).

In other news, there is still no news. Not about Personal Demons, anyway. Other projects are rumbling onwards, including collaborations with Nick Sharratt and Leo Hartas (both maddeningly talented chaps in their different ways). And I'm hoping to do something with a very talented Italian comic artist, Daniele Serra.

So, interesting times. And I may have an announcement to make about a very exciting non-writing project soon - watch this space!

Mea culpa...

Ahhh, it was bound to happen, wasn't it? I started this blog with such good intentions, but I always had a nagging doubt that I would run out of enthusiasm, and it seems to have happened.

A complete lack of news about the progress of my current project (Personal Demons - remember that?) and its fate in the hands of various publishers has left me with little positive news to report. And various non-writing related ("real life" - remember that?) situations have meant that my on-line profile has been very low recently.

Anyway, just to recap on the last few months, in case anybody still turns up here - the MS is still in the hands of 2 publishers, where it has languished for the last 4 months. Yes, that's more than a quarter of a year. But that's acceptable, of course, because it's publishing...

I did have one response - the most glowing rejection my agent had ever seen. The guy loved the book to bits, but wasn't going to publish it. If his reply had been a review, I would have framed it and put it on my wall...

Anyway, the Personal Demons project sensu lato continues to go from strength to strength, with new people contacting us all the time wanting to participate. Hopefully we have found someone with a web presence who would like to help us implement some of our wilder on-line ideas. Details will follow, if it all comes together.

The pop-up book about the human digestive system (see previous blog entries) is done and due out in September, and we're now working on the sequel - blood, breathing, that kind of thing.

And I've been asked to work on another illustrated project, though I can't say much about it at the moment. Except there's a wizard in it.

Finally, the electrician I raved about previously, who wired up my shed, turned out to be a thieving con-man who left a deliberate fault in the system in the hope of getting more business out of me. Or my surviving relatives assuming I had been fried in my shed. Faith in British workmen at an all-time low. And that's pretty low.

Anyway, that's that. Apologies to any of my faithful readers who have missed my nuggets of wisdom on here. Hopefully after this week, and definitely after a forthcoming holiday, I will return to the blogosphere refreshed.

S

The waiting game

Well, 'Personal Demons' is currently with three (very good) publishers, but no news from any of them. Everything in the world of publishing moves incredibly slowly, which is a shame, because I HATE WAITING! Aaaarrgh!

Meanwhile, I got my hands on a printer's proof copy of The Gooey, Chewy, Rumble Plop Book on Sunday, and it looks fantastic. Random House are so pleased they've increased their order, so it looks like it's going to be a winner.

I'm currently taking a break from writing - not a conscious decision, it just seemed to happen. I'm painting chickens instead (isn't that a Robbie Williams song?) and doing a bit of gardening. I'd almost forgotten what it's like to do 'normal' things (if you count painting chickens as normal) - I'm really enjoying it, but I feel guilt will send me back to the Shed soon.

Hard-to-find Book on Amazon

Finlay & the Bogeyman, previously only available directly from educational publishers Ginn, is now available from Amazon.co.uk.

Written specifically for reluctant readers, particularly boys, it tells the cautionary tale of Finlay, whose horrid habits lead him into a world of trouble. Only his resourceful sister Freya can save him...

It's a short book, but one I'm very proud of, and I'm delighted to see it available at last to a wider audience.

New Agent

I'm delighted to be able to announce that John Jarrold, of the John Jarrold Literary Agency, has agreed to represent my new novel, 'Personal Demons'.

John's CV, formerly as an editor and now as an agent and 'script doctor', reads like a who's-who of modern Science Fiction and Fantasy, so I'm obviously thrilled to be working with him.

Amazon Overload

If you do a search for my name on Amazon.co.uk, you now come up with 4 (that's four) results! Yes - I have 4 books on Amazon, including the Gooey, Chewy, Rumble Plop Book with Nick Sharratt, which isn't even available yet!

But do feel free to pre-order it...

It's done (again)

OK, I know I said I had finished 'Personal Demons', but there was a fair amount of polishing and tweaking to be done. I've spent most of this week doing just that, and in the last half-hour I have sent it out to my friend Jack and to my agent, Robin.

I know there are still things wrong with it, but I could sit here forever poking at it. I need other people to point out the errors now.

So, it has left my grasp. It's a scary feeling when something you have poured so much time and effort into leaves home and ventures out into the world. There's an inevitable loss of control, and the knowledge that you are opening yourself up to (in fact, actually seeking out) criticism.

I don't take criticism well. I'll be dusting down and putting on my thick skin this weekend. Wish me well, oh reader...

Check this out

If you like intelligent folk music, drop by this new site from the very talented Brooke Alberts and friends. Two haunting songs up already and we're promised more...

A taster...

There's a little bit of 'Personal Demons' here, if you're interested.

It's from close to the beginning of the book. Our hero, Blake, is obsessed with the fair Maria, but she hardly notices him (apart from when he makes a fool of himself, which is increasingly frequent). But Blake's fortunes are changing - he recently found the key to a secret storeroom in his Granddad's bookshop...

It's done!

Finally, after more than a year, 68,000 words and a long, hard slog, ‘Personal Demons’ is finished.

Well, the first draft, at any rate. Mind you, the ‘polishing’ process is such a doddle, compared to the effort of writing new material, it’s a pleasure.

I’m hoping to get it finalised and out to publishers in time for my appearance on TV (March 2nd). For what it’s worth. Might as well cash in on the vague aura of celebrity emanating from the Tree Gang.

So, I’m ill, the boys are both ill, my wife is recovering from being ill, but I still can’t shake off an enormously positive feeling.

Not like me, at all…

Huzzahs all round!

A whole new year!

Well, Christmas has crept past since I last posted. Shame on me! To be fair, I haven't had a lot to tell - the usual season of overindulgence and bad TV. Half the family afflicted with the 'flu (not me, mercifully). And sadly I missed my target of finishing the book I'm working on before I had to go back to the 'day job'.

But I did make good progress, and 'Personal Demons' is now very, very near to completion. It has turned out to be longer than I expected in many ways . More than a year in the writing, and pushing 65,000 words in its unedited form.

But I'm pleased with it, subject to the usual proviso of me not being satisfied with anything I produce. I hope it does justice to the wider 'Personal Demons' project. So many people have been involved in activities inspired by the book, I feel a crushing responsibility to make the finished story 'worthy', if you like. But I suppose I always have a responsibility to produce the best work I can, and this should be no different. It just feels scarier!

The ending of the book gathers speed rapidly and turns into a complicated swirl of converging story-lines, with a lot of supernatural goings-on that will make producing a stage version difficult. I hope those involved with 'PD - The Musical' forgive me. Anyway, the side products have always been rather tenuously linked to the central book. 'PD - The Documentary', for instance, (which has been nominated for a major award) shares nothing more than the title. So the musical is free to go its own way.

Anyway, it is done. Or will be in a few more days. I'm on TV again at the beginning of March (2nd, BBC2, 8.00pm, to be precise) and I would like to do any selling of the manuscript in advance of that, in the vague hope of cashing in on the publicity. But it will be a rush to get the polishing done before then. We will see.

Expect a 'sigh of relief' posting soon, when the whole thing is done.